Hannah-versary

Wow.  I can't believe it's been a whole year.  One year ago today, I waited in the reception area of the Civil Affairs office in Wuhan, China.  My mom sat on the couch next to me.  Haylie was playing in the playroom, just a few feet away.  We arrived at the CA office and were told that our little girl would be there in a few minutes.  As I sat on that couch, a million emotions surged through me.  I can tell you this though.....I have never been so nervous in my entire life.  I had no idea how she would react.  I knew that with her being deaf and having NO language/communication, that she had not been prepared for what was about to happen.  She was going to be scared to death.  And I was going to be the one to scare her.  As the clocked ticked away, I had finally convinced myself that she was going to hate me.  For sure.

I don't remember hearing anything behind me, but for some reason I just knew she was there.  I turned around and saw my beautiful little girl walk in the door.  She was dressed in a pink bunny outfit with little red sandals.  Her hair was fixed in several little braids and ponytails.  Her forehead had a huge bandage on it (and stitches) from a recent fall.  She had a sucker in her mouth.  And her eyes were fixed on mine:)  I took one step towards her and she walked across the room right into my open arms.  No kidding.  She accepted the baby doll I had in my arms and sat down on my lap.  I remember being afraid to move too fast for fear of scaring her away.  I fought back tears with everything in me.  I was finally holding my baby girl.  Mom was snapping pictures, but I wasn't even aware of it.  Haylie had made her way in there and was immediately at my side to meet her sister she had wanted for so long.

I can't even begin to put into words what it felt like to finally have her in my arms.  I could compare it to when Ryker and Haylie were born and the doctor placed them on my chest.  Seeing my child for the very first time in person:)

Our Hannie has been a little ray of sunshine in our lives.  She literally walked right into my arms and never looked back.  Hannah accepted everyone in the family with open arms, and is happiest when she is being held.  She is a total snuggle bunny:)  As I have talked about before, Hannah was incredibly delayed when she came home.  She was described to us by her caregivers as "unable to learn" "deaf and dumb" (no kidding that was a quote...grrrr).  Well folks, I have some news for ya.  Hannie didn't get the memo.  Someone must have forgotten to tell my little girl that she's "unable to learn" because she has been learning and playing catch-up for the past 12 months.  Stubborn she is......OHHHHH the stubbornness.  She would much rather just go through life without using her sign-language and still get everything she wants, lol;)  She understands everything we sign but we still have to encourage her to sign herself.  It's coming though.  She has come SUCH a long way and learned so much.  She loves most food, baths, Monsters Inc, ipad, phones, playing outside, swimming, being tickled, being held upside down, playdough, books, and swinging.  She hates cheese, hairbows (but wears them anyway, lol), getting her hands dirty, sleeping, being told "no", and Mama leaving. She is absolutely amazing:)  I am positive that I will never know how I deserve to be her Mama......but I am so thankful that I am.  She is a beautiful blessing to us.  So today we celebrate her very first Gotcha Day Hannah-versary:)  Here are some of my favs from her first year home:  

Here are the photos taken today for her Gotcha Day!!

Happy Hannah-versary to my sweet baby girl:):)

Benefit Dinner!

Wow.  I honestly don't even know where to begin with this.  I am still in shock and totally blown away at the MANY blessings we received last night.  We have literally been fundraising non-stop since we began Carlee's adoption in November.  We have done give-aways, puzzle fundraisers, sold shirts, garage sale, and SO many wonderful friends have offered to have fundraisers for us with their businesses (tupperware, 31, etc). Just real quick here.....I'm gonna be totally honest with ya'll.  I really dislike fundraising.  I think ALL of us adoptive parents do.....BUT we do what we have to do to get our babies home. Ugh, our PRIDE gets in the way, ya know?  We don't LIKE to need help with the financial aspect of adoption......but GOD....HE reminds us "No, no, no.....you aren't asking for help for yourselves.....you are asking for HER...and for ME." Getting our kiddos home has made us more dependent on God than anything ever has.  No doubt about it, these adoptions would not happen without Him.  We are so thankful that He places people in our lives who are willing to help us on our adoption journeys.   

We knew that we needed to plan one HUGE fundraiser to try and earn a good chunk of what we needed, so we decided on a benefit dinner.  We had been hearing success stories about organizations using Country Rhodes to cater their fundraisers.  They offer "all you can eat" fish, shrimp, chicken, and sides.  Everyone LOVES their food!  We hoped that there would be many that came just for the food if nothing else:)  We wanted to make the most of the event, so we decided to invite local vendors to set up booths at the dinner.  We charged $30 per booth, and then they kept any $$ they made at their booth.  We also had a HUGE bake-sale with a free-will offering and a 50/50 drawing.  We had a minimum of 300 pre-sale tickets that we needed to sell.  About 2 weeks ago, it wasn't looking too good.  We were NO way near our minimum and actually considered cancelling the event.  I don't like to give up......and something in me just wouldn't let me do it.  You've heard the quote, "The moment you're ready to give up is usually the moment right before the miracle happens."  Keep that quote in mind as you read the rest of this post. ;) Sooooo, we plugged on.  We got some helpers for our ticket sales and several local businesses donated dinner tickets to be given away on the radio stations nearby.  We prayed....and had MANY praying with us.  We needed this to go well.  A couple of days before the dinner, volunteers started coming out of the woodwork.  They were offering baked goods for the bake sale, offering to work the event, offering items to auction off, helping sell tickets, getting businesses to donate cups, napkins.....you name it!  We began to breathe a little easier:)  

Saturday, we got to the school to set up, and that's when our volunteers started showing up.  We had tons of help!  Ahhh, bless them all.  People started showing up to eat before the dinner even started:)  We really had a steady stream of people the entire 3 hours!  I was at the ticket table for most of it and was so amazed at the total strangers who came through and said, "I read about Carlee in the newspaper and just wanted to come out and show my support." We had people show up to eat and then ask where they could help out at the dinner. It became clear to us very quickly that it was going to go over well.  What we didn't expect was all the blessings God showered us with that evening.  To name them all would take all night.  People were so generous with the bakesale and telling us to "keep the change" when they paid for their tickets.  One of the vendors who sells Paparazzi jewelry came up to me with a little gift bag of pink jewelry for Carlee. She said, "I saw where Carlee's favorite color is pink, so I chose some gifts for her."  How incredibly sweet is that??  My sweet friend, Julie, won the 50/50 drawing and gave her half to us:) So many kind words from so many people.  We walked away feeling so supported by not only our family and friends.....but by the community.  The fact that we profited $2333.95 was an added bonus!!!  WAY more than we expected!  Why are we even surprised???  That's our God.  

Ephesians 3:20

Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.

Enjoy the very few photos I managed to take during the event.  I was soooooo busy, there was no way I could get pics of all our awesome volunteers and guests!  Thank you so much to everyone who volunteered, came to the event, donated items, prayed, etc!  We appreciate you so much!

BE the net.

I use this blog mostly to document our family and adoptions.....but on occasion, something speaks to my heart and I write about it.  I belong to several yahoo and Facebook groups pertaining to adoption in some fashion.  Some groups are specific for certain orphanages, some are for teen adoption, some particular for where you are in the adoption process, etc.  You get the idea. The wonderful thing about these groups is the support.  Seriously, it's like one ginormous support group with other parents who get what you are going through.  You find that you just "click" with certain people and you know you will be friends for life.

I've been seeing a trend among these groups lately and it is really weighing on my heart.  SO many of the parents who have just returned home with their new kiddo are shell shocked when they come home and all the support that showed up for the "airport party" is gone.  Just...gone.  The friends and family get in their cars and go home.  The jet-lagged, overwhelmed parents go home with their new child who has their days and nights mixed up, may or may not be attaching well, most likely grieving.......and the most common comment I am seeing is "I just feel SO ALONE".

 Alone is a scary place to be, especially when you are embarking on this new journey that nobody seems to understand.  It's hard.  The worst part is that you feel like you can't TELL anyone how hard it is because you will get the whole "You asked for this" or "This is what you wanted".  Some just think it.  Some go ahead and say it.  These families are incredibly hurt by the feedback they get and finally just shut down and accept that they are walking the tight rope without a net.  The problem is, folks, we need the net. We need the net like we need air.  Fortunately for us, we had the net from our immediate family and a few close friends.  Every kind thing they did for us was such a blessing. I am seeing though, that there are so many families out there who don't have it.  Maybe they never had the support to begin with?  Maybe their loved ones really DO feel like "You asked for this"?  What has been going through MY mind is this......maybe they don't know what to do?

When a woman gives birth to a baby, in most cases she will have friends coming to bring meals, see the baby, let her take a nap, etc.  Her mom might come and take the other kids out for ice-cream.  Her sister might come and fold laundry or clean the house.  With adoptions.....especially older child adoptions.....maybe people assume you're "good to go"?  I mean, it's not like you are trying to breastfeed a colicky baby, right?? If you are one of those people reading this blog, I am going to let you in on a little secret.  NO adoptive parent who has just brought home a new child is "good to go".  No way.  They need allllll the same support the brand new mamas with a colicky baby need.  Whaaaaaa???  Yep, it's true.  Even the ones who plaster the smile on their face and tell you everything is going greattttt.  They are lying. They lie because they don't want to see the judgement in your eyes.  After all.....they spent months fundraising, praying, killing hundreds of trees with paperwork, having meltdowns about the timeline, cleaned out their savings, maybe took out a loan to bring this child home, right?  They asked for it, remember??  Here's the truth. They are so exhausted by noon, they can barely keep their eyes open.  They are sobbing in the bathroom because their child is totally rejecting them.  They are wondering if they have ruined their other children's lives.  They are terrified that they will never find their new normal.  They are wondering where their net is.

As a BTDT adoptive mama, I am going to help you out.  Because I truly believe that there are people out there that don't realize what these parents need after they bring their child home.

1. Get meals lined up for them.  Comfort food and chocolate for the mama;)  Jet lag is FIERCE and can take a couple of weeks to feel human again.  Meals are a godsend.

2. Although the new child needs to stick close to Mama and Daddy for awhile, offer to take the other children for an afternoon.  Even just to the park.  They need a break too.

3. Offer to come over and just "run interference" for an hour so Mom and Dad can catch a nap.

4. Call them just to see how they are doing and offer support.  Don't judge when they tell you the truth.  Just listen.  Let them know you are there for them.

5. Guys, come steal Dad away for a couple of hours of doing whatever guys do....lol.

6. Gals, come steal Mom away for coffee and chocolate of some kind.  Maybe a mani/pedi. She probably hasn't showered in 3 days, much less painted her nails. Have some great laughs.

7. Ask them how you can pray for them and their family.  Ask for specifics and circle it in prayer.

8. Bring some entertainment for the kiddos and let Mom and Dad sit out on the porch swing and TALK for crying out loud.  They are meeting themselves coming and going.  They need each other.

9.  Emails, texts, cards,.......really ANYTHING to let them know you are thinking about them.

10.  Clean the house, mow the yard, and laundry...for the love of all things holy, offer to help with the laundry.

You love them and they NEED you.  They need you more now than ever before. 

 BE THE NET!

LOTS of new photos!!!!

Wow.  That pretty much sums up last week.  On top of getting our LOA wayyyy earlier than we expected, we also got several new photos of our girl!  We had sent her a care package with some fun summer clothes, candy, bracelet, etc.  Oh and of course a letter and photos for her too!  In return, we got the best gift anyone could give waiting parents....photos!  I love that her Ayi and friends are in these photos too.  I'm sure she will miss them so much and maybe these photos will be helpful:)  

 Here she is wearing the sparkly hat and shoes Haylie picked out for her:)

 LOVE this one!!  She is adorable:)

 My girl:)

We thought it would be fun to send her a shirt with our State name on it.....so what better way to introduce her to Illinois than with a Fighting Illini shirt!!!  

My goodness.....she is so precious.  Praying for you every single DAY, sweet girl:)